Tuesday, November 1, 2016

An Honest Disability Letter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today due to my disability.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today due to my illegitimate disability.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because the idea of being around people makes me completely lock up.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I had a nightmare about sexual assault and woke up crying, and for an irrational reason I expect my assaulter to be in your classroom.

Thanks,
Dexter


Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I'm worthless and there's no point anyway.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because if I let go of these crayons I'll go cut my arms up, in which case I still wouldn't be in class because I'd be cutting my arms up.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I've been cutting my arms up and the shame is eating me away inside and I can't bear to be seen.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I had a panic attack in my first class and didn't even make it halfway through, so I'll be hiding in Starbucks crying and unable to move.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I am convinced everyone hates and/or pities me and I can't bear the shame of being around them.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because there are students in the class who are dramatic and verbally attack things that I both do and don't care about, but the antagonistic atmosphere makes me freak out and I'd just have to leave class anyway.

Thanks,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I will not be in class today because I can't do anything right.

I'm sorry,
Dexter



Dear Professor,

I wanted to make sure you knew that my absences have nothing to do you with your or your class, and that I enjoy your class very much. You are a great teacher and I never want my actions to represent a disrespect or laziness towards you.

It's not you, it's me.

Thanks,
Dexter