Tuesday, June 28, 2016

A List of Lies

I. Failures

a. Failure in school
i. Failure to even go to class
ii. Failure to study for class
iii. Failure to remember important class dates
iv. Failure to participate in class discussion
v. Failure to maintain decent grades

b.  Failure in relationships
i. Failure to talk to friends
ii. Failure to support friends
iii. Failure to reciprocate affection
iv. Failure to be patient with friends

c. Failure in responsibility
i. Failure in healing my cat's tail
ii. Failure in keeping a clean household
iii. Failure in keeping a steady budget
iv. Failure to avoid unnecessary purchases
v. Failure to maintain a well-functioning car

d. Failure in health
i. Failure to eat
ii. Failure to eat healthily
iii. Failure to drink enough water
iv. Failure to avoid unhealthy food and drink
v. Failure to exercise and stretch
vi. Failure to avoid nail biting
v. Failure to practice positive coping behaviors
vi. Failure to seek mental help
vii. Failure to seek physical health help
viii. Failure to practice positive affirmations

II. Beliefs

a. Beliefs in school
i. Belief that I can't do any better
ii. Belief that it's pointless to try anymore
iii. Belief that it doesn't even matter in the long run
iv. Belief that I will lose my scholarship
v. Belief that I will fail

b. Beliefs in relationships
i. Belief that no one really loves me
ii. Belief that no one notices my absence or presence
iii. Belief that no one wants to talk to me
iv. Belief that they are better without me anyway
v. Belief that all interaction is based on pity
vi. Belief that all interaction is because, "She might do something to herself if she's alone"
vii. Belief that I am forgotten
viii. Belief that I am replaceable
ix. Belief that everyone could find someone better than me

c. Beliefs in responsibility
i. Belief that my cat would be better with a different human
ii. Belief that my household is disgusting
iii. Belief that it can't become better
iv. Belief that my car will die because of my treatment
v. Belief that the absence of a car will result in more failures

d. Beliefs in health
i. Belief that if I stop eating, I won't feel sick anymore
ii. Belief that if I eat, I won't be sad anymore
iii. Belief that if I drink, I won't be sad anymore
iv. Belief that positive coping behaviors take time and give stress
v. Belief that it is all my imagination and nothing is wrong
vi. Belief that since nothing is actually wrong, no one will take me seriously
vii. Belief that no one can help
viii. Belief that because "I don't really want to get better," I only disappoint those people who try to help
ix. Belief that I will never feel better
x. Belief that I'm not hurting anyone else

III. Knowledge

a. What I know of school
i. I can do it

b. What I know of relationships
i. I am loved

c. What I know of responsibility
i. I am doing a good job

d. What I know of health
i. I have to ask for help

IV. Knowledge vs. Belief

a. Belief always wins