Sunday, February 15, 2015

Shoutout to all you Beautiful Lonely People

Hey you.

You are beautiful and you are loved and you are amazing.

Yes, you.

I say this to myself, and I say this to every single person who ever reads this, and I say this to every single person who never reads this. Because it's true.

It has now been a year since I was released from the loony bin. And y'know what, I'm still in this world. My life's no basket of bunnies but it sure ain't a cardboard box of roaches either if you know what I mean.

I bet a lot of you people are struggling just as much if not more than I am. And it is important that you know that YOU are pretty damn amazing. If I can go a year without ending up back in the psych ward, then I bet you can.

Things that inspire me to keep going:
All the books I have not read yet.
All my favorite books I want to reread.
All the friends I have not met yet.
All the friends who don't realize how much I love them.
All the places I have not gotten to visit yet.
All the notebooks I have not filled.
All the music I have not listened to.
All the music I have not played.
All the dances I have not danced.
All the kitchen utensils I have not played with.
All the My Little Pony episodes that have not come out yet.
All the pain that God will bring that will make me stronger.

It's gonna be okay. I don't believe this all the time, but I believe it now.

This is a letter to myself in the future, on a bad day. This is my letter to you, on any day you need it.

--Dexter

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Scheduling.

I am alive. Busy, but alive.

I am in my second semester as a sophomore. Dance major. English minor. Honor's college. English tutor. Book club president. Member of the Repertory Dance Company.

I am taking 23 hours this semester. 9 classes. I have 10 hours of company rehearsals each week. I currently have 4 hours of tutoring each week. Somehow I find time to go to book club once a week and (sort of) read for it as well. I average 2.5 cups of coffee a day and 5 hours of sleep a night, though both of these figures vary depending on the day.

One of my roommates I have not seen since the first day of the semester. One of my roommates I have spoken to maybe twice since the beginning of the semester. My other roommate I see more on campus than in the apartment. I am never here.

I'm busy, but alive. After this semester, I will know that I can make it through just about anything.

If I make it through of course...

--Dexter