
But it turns out my stalking days are not over.
I'd like you to meet... Ultimate Hipster.
There's this awesome little place here in Hattiesburg called T-Bones. It sounds like a steak place, but it's not. It's actually a tea/coffee/music store. T-Bones as in tea. It's super awesome and I go there whenever I get the chance. If I go alone I get lots of homework done, and if I go with friends we get lots of fun stuff done, so it's a win win in either case. It's one of the few places I know how to get to in Hattiesburg.
But anyway, I was there yesterday reading I, Claudius, and this guy comes in... and he's the ultimate hipster. Blue off brand converse, jeans, plaid shirt, fedora that's not really a fedora, hipster glasses, and... a 'stache. Not just any 'stache. I'm talking a hipster 'stache. Perfectly sculpted. It is truly a work of art.
Naturally, this amazing person could not go undocumented, so I immediately began stealthily tracking him with my phone until I finally got a good shot and snapchatted it to everyone exclaiming over his ultimate hipsterness. Lame friends that I have, only a few people even bothered replying (jk, I love you all). It was a very exciting experience and made me happy inside.
But the story isn't over.
My cousin surprised me with a visit today (I mean, I may have told her to, but still), and we always go to T-Bones when she visits. So we were happily sipping our fall-themed drinks when who should walk in but Ultimate Hipster! And he's wearing the exact same clothes. Does he just have an unlimited number of the same clothing articles? Does he wash them every night? Does he just wear them for days on end? Is he just a hologram with a hankering for coffee? So many questions.
So I immediately snapchatted him to all my friends again and got even less of a response (thanks a lot, guys), but my cousin did have a laughing fit that almost blew my cover.
I'm hoping to become a regular at T-Bones, which means I might see more of Ultimate Hipster and discover all his secrets. Have no fear, I will keep you posted.
--Dexter