Sunday, October 27, 2013

Introducing . . .

We all remember Prince Charming and Mr. Hot Stuff, right? There have been other players in my lives of course (Mr. Stalker and the wonderful Captain), but none I have actively stalked before. And by "actively" I mean "I run into them a lot."

But it turns out my stalking days are not over.

I'd like you to meet... Ultimate Hipster.

There's this awesome little place here in Hattiesburg called T-Bones. It sounds like a steak place, but it's not. It's actually a tea/coffee/music store. T-Bones as in tea. It's super awesome and I go there whenever I get the chance. If I go alone I get lots of homework done, and if I go with friends we get lots of fun stuff done, so it's a win win in either case. It's one of the few places I know how to get to in Hattiesburg.

But anyway, I was there yesterday reading I, Claudius, and this guy comes in... and he's the ultimate hipster. Blue off brand converse, jeans, plaid shirt, fedora that's not really a fedora, hipster glasses, and... a 'stache. Not just any 'stache. I'm talking a hipster 'stache. Perfectly sculpted. It is truly a work of art.

Naturally, this amazing person could not go undocumented, so I immediately began stealthily tracking him with my phone until I finally got a good shot and snapchatted it to everyone exclaiming over his ultimate hipsterness. Lame friends that I have, only a few people even bothered replying (jk, I love you all). It was a very exciting experience and made me happy inside.

But the story isn't over.

My cousin surprised me with a visit today (I mean, I may have told her to, but still), and we always go to T-Bones when she visits. So we were happily sipping our fall-themed drinks when who should walk in but Ultimate Hipster! And he's wearing the exact same clothes. Does he just have an unlimited number of the same clothing articles? Does he wash them every night? Does he just wear them for days on end? Is he just a hologram with a hankering for coffee? So many questions.

So I immediately snapchatted him to all my friends again and got even less of a response (thanks a lot, guys), but my cousin did have a laughing fit that almost blew my cover.

I'm hoping to become a regular at T-Bones, which means I might see more of Ultimate Hipster and discover all his secrets. Have no fear, I will keep you posted.

--Dexter

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

My Side of the Story

Sorry I dropped off the planet again. Been busy adjusting to college and I didn't really want to write anything for fear that I'd drown in a self-pitying post about college life. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty great over here. I mean, I've met lots of cool people, been to some cool places, danced some cool dances, gotten some cool grades... but it's still hard being in a completely new place with completely new people.

Anyway, this post isn't really about all that.

Been here barely half a semester and I'm having boy problems. Don't ask me why. I don't know how I get into these things. Because normally I don't get into these things. Ugh.

Basically we were friends and then he wanted more but I was like no and so he was like oh and then we weren't friends but then we were friends again but lately he's been kind of pushing my boundaries a little too much if you know what I'm saying. He's a great guy and really nice and all this stuff, but I don't think he's mature enough to just be friends with me, or maybe he doesn't realize how much his flirting bothers me (even though I've told him). At this point, I'm not going to terminate our friendship, but I'm going to try to put some distance between us without hurting his feelings. But if it comes to that, I'll have to. I am resolute to end this thing before it goes any further because I can't handle the stress and it can't be good for him either.

Anyway, I was thinking about points of view today. Y'know the song You're Beautiful by James Blunt? A guy sees a beautiful girl on the subway and falls in love but discovers that she's "with another man, but I won't lose no sleep on that 'cause I've got a plan." The song implies that he and this woman end up together, but it all proves to be a fantasy at the end when he says, "but it's time to face the truth. I will never be with you." The song is sad and heartwrenching and any respectable girl wonders why this girl wouldn't pick him over whatever dude she's already with.

It's always that way in movies or books when the main character is in unrequited love. We can't understand why his love interest doesn't see all the fantastic qualities our hero possesses, we can't see what's so great about his rival that he gets chosen instead of the hero. So we along with our hero believing that eventually she'll come around and realize who's the real hero in this story, so we don't think twice about urging our hero on in his (hopefully) mild pursuit of the lady.

But from the girl's point of view, it makes perfect sense. You see the beauty of your boyfriend or husband or whatever. Sure, there are plenty of good qualities in your guyfriend, but... there's no point in even comparing the two. All you want is to make him stop and understand. The more he pursues you, the less you want to be around him at all and eventually the friendship is broken. You're upset because of what he's put you through and the stress put on your relationship, and he's upset because his heart is broken. Because even if you haven't been leading him on, he's somehow convinced himself that there's hope.

It takes respect and maturity to be friends after interest is shown by only one of the parties involved. You have to respect the other person's relationship and be mature enough to take it without resorting to drama and self-pity, and it takes an awful lot of work to not be awkward from then on.

I may not have suffered blatant rejection, but I've been in unrequited crushland (ummm Prince Charming, anyone?). It sucks. Drama is the easiest (and most enjoyable) thing to resort to, but it sure ain't practical and it sure ain't gonna get you anything. You just kind of have to get over it, pick yourself up, and move on. If somehow that person is your perfect soul mate, you'll end up together in the end and you're just going to screw things up if you cause excess stress right now.

See, what the hero forgets sometimes is that in every story where his love is unrequited, he ends up being in love with the wrong girl. Once he gets over her, his eyes are opened to that beauty who has patiently gone through life waiting for that moment, and then he understands true love.

They're weird things, the different sides of a story. Everything changes depending on how you look at it. 

--Dexter